Saturday, January 23, 2010

Johan Ariff Bin Juhari is leaving on a jet-plane. Well, first on a train, then on the express train, then on a jet-plane... well, technically, not a jet-plane, rather a boeing 777. So, yeah... He's leaving on a train, then on the express tram, then on a boeing 777, don't know when he'll be back again. Oh, babe, he hates to go... Except, no, he doesn't hate to go.

The title says it all.

Malaysian internet sucks and I don't know if my new place has internet or not. So, here's something to remember me by until I get back.



Goodbye bitches.

P.S.: Much love to people who leaves a comment saying how they like Konstantin Vasilyevich, my new hat, and Anton Bulgakov, my designer scarf from MTJ [Makcik Tepi Jalan]


Post-post-script: I look super thin because blogspot compressed the pic. Thanks, blogspot! I'll post a sexy pic of me if enough people leave a comment on how thin I look.


P.P.P.S: I am having such a Shane Dawson moment for asking people to leave comments. I think I'm gonna be depressed if no one leaves a comment. Leave a comment if you don't want me to get depressed.


P.P.P.P.PMS: I've edited this like 5 times. Comment on what you think about my anal-loving anal-retentiveness!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

How Stalin Actually Defeated the Nazi




Crazy Russians




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Added:

You know, just when I start to have good perception on Russians, the bad apples have to show themselves more than the normal people.

My kitchen window is the target for batting and throwing practice for racist schoolboys. Almost every night they throw snowballs or use some stick to hit the window. Thank God for grills. And not really boys too. If 10 year old bastards were doing this, I can understand, but these are teenagers.

Dude, if you wanna show you're a big shot, come and hit us.

And just now, trying to take out my garbage in -20 weather in only a sweater, the garbage man said that this is not the place to throw garbage AS he was picking up garbage bins. He in his thick dusty winter wear was arguing with me, who was shivering because I've got only a sweater on. He absolutely refused to take my two medium plastic bags of trash.

Not wanting to cause trouble, I turn back toward my apartment. The bloody bastard just had to say, "I'm watching you if you return!"

I mean, what the flying fuck, man?


P.S. I know this post sucks but it's 7.54 am and I still haven't slept and my housemates are all sleeping, so, I can't vent.

P.P.S. But to be fair, the garbage man wasn't being racist. Some Russians just have the need to feel superior over other people, even among themselves. I don't know why, maybe it's the socialist upbringing. Most Russians don't, though. Most Russians are pleasant, albeit cold at first. Only those who work in the service industry. Maybe they feel inferior because their job by definition is providing service to others. Maybe, it's the need to show You're-not-the-boss-of-me! Like Malaysian government workers. Hmm, maybe that's it.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Law of Gaga




I don't know why but this equation is beyond my understanding.

Who is this Lady Gaga?

What's so special about her?

Why am I nodding, tapping my foot, doing a little shoulder dance to the beat?

Why is the rice taking too long to cook?

Secrets more mysterious and important than the meaning of life itself.

Monday, January 11, 2010

011110: Palindrome Day

I've got a First today.

A naked man touched a naked me.

Here.


 Don't ask why.

I'm not sure how I feel about that.

A big thing considering I grew up in a society where I get lip for wearing knee-revealing shorts.

Friday, January 08, 2010

Codename: Konspirasi Yahudi

I would like to apologize on the behalf of Muslims all over the world over the burning of the Metro Tabernacle church and the attempted arson of the Assumption Church. I know this doesn't cut it but we are totally with you in thinking the arsonists are arseholes.