"Remember when you first fully understand and appreciate the meaning of Hari Raya? You wanted to be the first to arrive at the mosque, you wanted to takbir the loudest, you wanted to collect the most duit raya, you wanted to visit as many house as you could. But now, when you've grown up, what was special has now become a routinised ritual, which in turn becomes something ordinary.
I think 4 years spending Raya overseas has killed my joy for Raya. I am now officially the Scrooge of Raya."
Damn him and his insightful, albeit bleak, observation.
Raya in Kelantan has always been a joyful occasion for me. What with the ketupat making and the bunga api playing and the duit raya getting...
Now, after 6 years of idealizing Raya in Kelantan, there's a nagging voice at the back of my head saying that Raya in Kelantan sucks now.
I've never gotten along all that well with my fathers' side. Plus, forget the fact that I've not met some cousins for the last 6 years and judging from photos, I wouldn't recognize them if I met them on the streets, I get new relatives EVERY year, that, honestly, I'm not sure how many of them there are. My mom's side's, my preferred side's in shambles after my grandma passed away. Petty squabbles over childish things.
What is there to look forward to every Raya nowadays, then? Stranger-cousins or being utterly alone in a huge house?
Yesterday, I was talking to Pervoner and had to admit the bitter truth that people do change. Subtly, but surely. And 6 years in Russia, I missed out on the important parts. It's like I know Windows through XP but now with Vista, the little differences confuse me and I wish I could have XP again. Yes, I'm a geek.
It doesn't help that there're very few people, almost none, here that I could and want to hang out with if we have the time. There's something about Subang that makes us different, methinks. I'm not saying that Subang kids better than the rest of you, no, but different takes on the same issues make a very stressful conversation.
The saddest of cases is when we grow apart, despite all the hard work we did to maintain the relationship.
So, I propose that we raise our proverbial glasses in toast for friendships lost and idealization of the past. Che-fucken'-ers.
2 comments:
cheh subang je best.
Well, since you sekolah dekat subang dulu, maka kira you're a subang kid also la. Emo pulak dia nih.
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