Dr. Sakaria Ztapa from the Faculty of Islamic Destruction of the University Kebangsaan Bolehland claimed that breathing can be traced back to the pagan belief of cavemen. He explained that the cavemen breathed and therefore are able to worship the sun, the moon and their neighbour Bob's inch-long penis.
"Breathing is therefore essential to the pagan spirituality," explained Dr. Ztapa. "And anyone breathing are deviating from the true teaching of Islam!"
He further urged that all Muslims cease to breathe and those who are practicing this vital act should stop immediately.
When asked by this reporter why Dr Ztapa hadn't stopped breathing, the Dr immediately held his breathe and after five minutes collapse lifelessly.
Following this recent and sudden death, Muslims of Bolehland gathered to mourn his passing by pissing and spitting on the corpse. But the devotees were disappointed: it seemed that the body was struck by lightning an average of three times in a minute and this obvious divine approval of the Doctor's fatwa brought joy to the gathered crowd. They then proceeded to fling their refuse to the corpse from a safe distance.
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Seriously, people call me an embarassment to Muslims everywhere, a murtad, a munafiq and quite a few other mu-s, and they let this guy run around? Hell, the whole fatwa committee should be condemned too for actually having to discuss this rather than throwing it straight into the sewage treatment center, where it belongs.
Summore proudly say that they hadn't reached a decision. Is a form of exercise equal to deviation of Islam? If you take a whole week to declare that you can't reach a conclusion about this obvious matter, you can see which retards are passing spiritual laws in Malaysia.
Women wearing pants = tomboys = lesbians, so no no for Muslims. But gay guys also wear pants what and dresses and robes. Maybe we should all be naked.
The usage of the word Allah should be exclusive for Muslims. Muslim readers ask yourself. Why was Muhammad tolerated when he said none should be worshipped but Allah? I mean, you might say he preached discreetly but obviously it is known because he was getting so much shit, figuratively and literally. Don't know? Well, in pre-Islam Arab mythology, Allah is actually a God too. With three daughters summore, Manat, Latta and Uzza. So, Muhammad was seen as a cult leader rather than bringer of a new religion.
What does this mean? It means that we should censor the Quran. Throw out every single Allah there is in all its form and, since, obviously, Malaysian Malays are the most supreme race, substitute the pagan Allah with P Ramlee or Kassim Selamat. Yeah, you should begin each prayer with Bismi-P. Ramlee-rahmanirrahim.
I know some thick headed bastards are going to condemn me as a apostate, so let me say this here: It's sarcasm, people. And if you HAVE to leave a comment saying that I shouldn't joke about this kind of stuff, just leave a comment saying "I can't take a joke" and I'll understand. A "I am an idiot" or a "I'm a retard" will also be understood.
I demand a reformation of the National Fatwa Council immediately! I demand a review of every single fatwa they issued!
Seeing how you can make fatwas on anything you so damn well pleased without good backing evidence, [or, indeed, any at all] I declare a fatwa to carry this big ass I Hate STUPID FATWAS badge thing on all your blogs.
7 comments:
i have to say, i agree with that.
stupid fatwas when it is unclear % illogical.
after all we are dealing with tolerable matters each day.
i find the national fatwa council nauseating sometimes.
contemporary and regional matter should be addressed in modern definition
*sigh
The worst thing is the sheep that is the masses will follow the fatwa religiously.
And condemns those who question.
been there.
my mom threatened to send me to some religious ppl to brainwash me due to me asking outside the box question.
that fails, i guess. u cannot stop ppl from thinking.
btw, do they have fatwa for nude art?? wonder...
People are still immatured and often connect nudity and sex. I, too, at times. Ancient Greeks and Romans had a healthier outlook on nudity compared to us.
Therefore, if they do have a fatwa on nude art, it'd be unfavourable.
oh yeah...i shud have relate it with the bersanding procedure instead.hinduism anyone?
If you strip away everything Hindu about the Malay culture, there won't be any left. Before Islamization, Malays are almost exclusively Hindu. Songkok, kain pelikat, the countless rituals, hell, even our food has Indian ancestry.
the malays are known as the not so much travelling and not so adventurous race of the world.
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